Mixed Emotions...

I don't think I've done a "crazy emotionally unstable Stacie" post in a while, so here's one for ya. ;)
I had my routine 6 month check-up with my Oncologist yesterday and my Breast Specialist today. These are always a little nerve wracking because even though I feel healthy, I always worry they may find something in blood work or during an exam that will hit me like a mack truck again. Well, thankfully all tests except for one have come back and all is well (the other test, tumor markers, should be in tomorrow) Praise God!
This fear isn't the worst part of these appointments for me, believe it or not. Going into those two offices bring back so many emotions I get teary eyed every time I walk into either one. Especially the Breast Doctor, Dr. T's office. That's where all the tests were run that diagnosed my cancer, where I went the day after my diagnosis and got more information, and where I have spent countless hours being treated by Dr. T & the Reconstructive Surgeon (who I affectionately call Dr. Hurt). Usually when I'm there I get lots of stares and strange looks from people because I'm the youngest person in the room and they probably think I'm lost. For a while I went much more frequently & I had wigs on during chemo so it was obvious what I was going through and I guess people were surprised, who knows. Anyway, this time I was not the youngest patient in the room. A girl and her Dad came in with a package labeled "Ultrasound Images" and signed in. I knew she looked young, but I heard her tell the Receptionist she was 18. I felt so heartsick for that poor girl & how scared she must be. She wouldn't have been there unless there was some kind of concern for breast cancer & I was so sad for her immediately.
There was another lady there who had just received a mammogram and was waiting to see the Dr. again for a needle biopsy. Bless her heart. I so remember that long appointment a year and a half ago when I was scared of what in the world might be going on with me too.
Next, in comes a young lady and her boyfriend/husband. She was very attractive and looked to be in her mid twenties. She was very short tempered with the Receptionist and it was obvious she would've rather been getting a root canal than be in that office. When she was asked to fill out a new patient packet she took it and grudgingly started filling it out beside me. Her boyfriend was trying to calm her but she was very angry. Just as I wanted to tell her "Um sweetie, get used to paperwork if you're about to go through a medical nightmare like breast cancer" it hit me (and I think it was the Lord's prompting) that she's not angry, she's scared. Out-of-her-mind-afraid of what might be growing in her breast that she has absolutely no control over. Fear of the unknown & how it will change the rest of her life if what the doctors suspect is true.
I began to pray for these women and seriously shed tears in the waiting room of Dr. T's office. People may have thought I was psycho, but I just remember so well what being in their shoes felt like and I am so thankful I have on different shoes today. Shoes that have walked that road, looked that extreme fear in the face & are now living on the other side.
After Dr. T examined me & gave me the all clear (yay!) I went to visit with his sweet wife for a few minutes in her office.
After I left I had a wierd teary-eyed feeling for the rest of the afternoon and a few hours later I realized it was just the emotions from going to that office, seeing those scared women and sitting in the same chair that I sat in 1 1/2 years ago hearing about the journey I was about to begin & not thinking I could ever be equipped to walk that road.
Praise God, that leg of my cancer journey did finally end & I'm living a normal, happy, blessed life now! It's just times like the past couple of days that remind me how absolutely mind blowing everything we went through really was & how thankful I am that God carried us when we couldn't walk anymore & held us when we didn't think we could go on.
Thank you Father for being so faithful!

Valentine's Day!

This Valentine's Day was so exciting for Little One because she got to make cards for her classmates and she knew there would be lots of cards & candy involved for her as well. She could.not.wait to get to school on "Red Day" as they called it, to have fun with her friends! She was well prepared with iCarly cards for her classmates, but talked me into letting her make "special" cards for her teachers and some family members that she could decorate with stickers, markers & glitter glue. That kind of stuff is her specialty! She is a crafty girl that's for sure!

She worked hard on writing the names of all her classmates (and her own name of course) on the cards and did a great job!

On the morning of Valentine's Day she couldn't wait to wear her "fancy outfit" to school and show her friends how her skirt twirled...that's important stuff!

When I picked her up she was so excited to show me the box she decorated and all the cards and candy inside. (I would've taken a picture of the contents, but she and the neighbors ate all the candy as you can see by the chocolate on her face & they also played with her cards so it wasn't very cute by the time I was prepared!)

We spent the evening together, just our little family of three. I love both of my Valentine's more than words can say!

Mother of the year strikes again!

So, if you've been reading this blog for a while now you know I am always losing my "Mother of the Year" crown. Well, I believe I sealed my fate for the title last week. Little One doesn't go to school on Fridays, and since we had a falling out with our babysitter back in August, I decided to just keep her with me on those days. Well, most weeks that's not an issue. This past week however, it was a little difficult.
I have had a nightmare tenant in one of the properties I manage for about 6 months now. She spent so much time going "back home" to Maryland that she couldn't be bothered to worry with her responsibilities at her actual home...ya know, little things like paying her rent & taking care of her dog. Nothing major, right? I mean, seriously!
Well, back in October I was made aware that there was a dog in her house that no one was caring for. She left her key with a neighbor to feed/water and take the dog out to potty "for a few days". After 3 weeks, the neighbor was understandably over it & they called me.
After a few mind numbing conversations with the tenant I talked her into letting me get rid of the dog (Oh, and at this point I had been feeding him for a week and even brought him home one night). I called animal control who came out, saw the dog and then tells me the shelter is closed & they can't take him. "Hey guys, thanks for stopping by, you could've told me that on the phone. Duh!" Luckily I found someone in the neighborhood that wanted the dog & was ablt to give him away that day.
So, the tenant (we'll call her crazy dog lady) comes home in a week or two with ANOTHER dog, from the same litter as the one she already abandoned. I went ballistic. "Why would you bring another dog home when I almost evicted you over the first one, you're not a responsible pet owner..." She assures me she'll take care of this one & her kids love it, blah blah blah.
Fast forward to December...I get a call from a different tenant saying that crazy dog lady has gone to Maryland again & left the dog in the care of her daughter but was supposed to have been home several days before and they hadn't heard from her. Really?!
So, I get the police officer that lives in the neighborhood to call crazy dog lady & scare her to come home or get someone to stay there & take care of her dog. She calls me stating that she doesn't appreciate me having the "po-lice" call her & threaten her like that. "Um, are you serious? As if it's MY job to make sure your freakin' dog is taken care of when you can't be bothered to take the dog you love so much with you or leave her with a responsible adult when you leave town?" She calms down when she realizes how crazy mad I was and agreed upon threat of animal cruelty charges to have a "friend" take her key and assume responsibility for the dog.
I agreed to that & gave this shady looking guy the key. Christmas and New Year's came and I was finally able to file eviction in the court for posession of crazy dog lady's townhome because she hadn't felt it necessary to pay rent in over a month.
The court told me I could go into the home since I thought she was gone & check for any personal property and if it was empty we wouldn't have to do the eviction. My Dad went in to do that for me (since shady guy with the key was also big & scary looking) on Wednesday and calls to tell me that they left a few things for me. Most interesting of which was the dog, with no food or water and looking like she hadn't been fed in a while.
I immediately went to at least feed her and take pictures. This poor pitiful baby was petrified! She had obviously not been fed in a long while, and seemed like she was abused by the way she bolted when you got too close. What kind of person could leave a dog to die? In my opinion, one that needs to be starved for a few days themselves!

Look at this sweet face! I could NOT have her be put down without a chance at a good life.

She was THAT skinny :(

I FINALLY was able to take posession of the home & do the eviction on Friday. Yeah, I had to take my child to an eviction. Not just that, this was a dirty smelly one with an abandoned dog and who knows how long of dog excrement inside the home. It was as nasty as you're imagining folks! I kept her with me in the kitchen mostly & wouldn't let her touch anything (so don't freak too much) but still! Don't worry, I'm gonna send a copy of this blog post in with my 2011 Mother of the Year application ;)
Anyway, the poor dog stole my heart & I knew I had to try & do something to save her. The constable (sheriff who comes to evictions to make them "legal") said animal control will take her but since the shelter is closed (still!) they would immediately put her down. I sent out an e-mail to some people I thought may have contacts with animal organizations or animal lovers in general and put a notice on Facebook. I wish I could've taken her home myself but I seriously think The Hubby would've at least threatened to divorce me. He's not the biggest fan of the 2 animals we already have!

The many e-mails and calls I got in response to the dog's story was amazing to me & I was so happy to know that some people DO still care about others and helpless animals! A lady that works with my mom agreed to take her and get her back to normal life (hopefully) and then try to find a home if they don't end up keeping her. I am so happy to say that she is in a loving home now with people that love her & other dogs. I was told yesterday that after only 2 days she is like a new dog and loves playing and being loved on.
I don't know if she'll ever trust men, but women and children seem to be ok with this precious baby for right now.
It completely broke my heart that she suffered right under my nose and I didn't know & couldn't help her earlier. I am so happy that she was saved and now has a loving home though.
Hopefully animal cruelty charges can be brought against crazy dog lady, I wish I could get the guy "taking care of" the dog, too but it's not likely.
Anyway, I know this was long and drawn out & you probably don't care but I wanted to document it for myself & tell you about another crazy thing that happened with my job. Sometimes it's completely unbelievable!

First Dental Visit

Okay, I realize I am way behind schedule and The Little One was supposed to go to the Dentist for the first time at like, 2 years old, but I didn't think about it then and even if I would have I probably wouldn't have taken her because up until recently we didn't have dental insurance.
Once we got dental insurance I decided that I wasn't ready for the potential drama that could happen at this visit & that it would be a great task for Daddy.
Well, I finally started talking to her about it little by little and got the "it's gonna hurt" that some kids put in her head out. She had seen the office through the window because it's next door to the Dunkin' Donuts that I go to almost everyday occasionally visit ;)
The huge aquarium and treehouse fort sold her that it might actually be a fun place and she told me she WANTED to go so I jumped on it.

Well, the morning of the appointment she was very nervous and I could tell she was kind of worried about it. I just answered her questions and tried to keep her mind off it until we got there. Right before we went in I had a talk with her about how big and brave she was and assured her that she would be fine. I told her "You got this girl" and she says "Yeah, I got this!" and in we went.
When they finally took her back it didn't last long at all and the hygenist came out saying she was great, has no cavities, brushes well, etc.

When we got back in the car I told her "See, I told you you had it, nothing to worry about, right? I'm very proud of you for doing such a good job!" She says "Yep, and I was ok because I prayed about it 2 times and God was with me! I prayed about it last night and when we were getting out of the car and he didn't make me be scared at all!"

Y'all!!! I nearly cried! How precious is it that this little 5 year old child of God thought to herself without my prompting to pray about it?! I felt bad that I didn't think to pray with her, but she already knows that God hears her & I am so thankful!
I will say that made me re-think not sending her to the Christian school again next year, but we are going to a church where she is more comfortable now and I am hoping that going to church more regularly, plus the stuff we discuss at home will pick up where the christian education lacks in Kindergarten.
Anyway, off on a tangent, I just wanted to share this precious story! We are praising God that our baby girl is beginning to actually "know" God intimately & have a relationship with Him! I love watching her grow and ask questions. It makes my heart so full!

Doughnuts for Dads

Ever since we first visited The Little One's school for a tour, she has been excited about Doughnuts for Dads day. The day we visited, before she was even registered, the Director told us about some of the fun things they do throughout the year, and mentioned this as one of their special activities. Well, this little Daddy's Girl was sold! She would tell people when they asked where she was going to Pre-K "They're gonna have Doughnuts for Dads & my Daddy's gonna come!" She's been asking me throughout the year when the Doughnut day was & she was soooo excited when the day finally arrived!

The Hubby took her to school & they had a special little breakfast together and gave the Daddies gifts. Her class made travel coffee mugs and Little One's said "I like it when my Daddy bes sweet to me." I love that she said "bes" instead of is. He will treasure that forever!

They also made a cute little magnet with their picture inside a doughnut that says "Doughn't you know I love ya!" Too precious!

This little girl is so blessed to have a wonderful Daddy that loves her to pieces and would do anything for her. She doesn't take it for granted...and neither do I!