Unwelcome Change of Plan

I had an appointment with my Oncologist this past week to be checked out between chemo treatments. Everything went well, she was asking and answering questions, and then I asked something about the last few treatments, which drug would be used, since I remembered the nurse telling me that I would get a different drug for the last couple of treatments. She tells me that I'll have 4 of the one I had last week, and 4 Taxol. Me: "Uhm, that's 8. I thought I was having 6 treatments." Doctor: "Oh, that's when we were going to do them 3 weeks apart. Since we decided to get it over with quickly & do them 14 days apart instead of 21 days, you'll have to get 8."
Ugh!!! I know it only adds a month, and in the grand scheme of my life, what's the big deal, right? I just felt like I was punched in the stomach though. I had been saying to myself that I only had 5 left, and now I have to say 7...That certainly sounds like a lot more in my head! I was also looking forward to being done the week of Christmas, and having that to celebrate. Oh well, guess I'll have to put the celebratory trip off till February or March.

I did have a bright spot this week though, I had my final "fill-up" on Monday! I have said it was my last one before, but this time it's for real, my foot is down! No more painful fills for me, I'm done.with.that! I am only hoping now that I can have the final reconstructive surgery scheduled soon after chemo is over. I need this to be behind me. I realized the other day it's only been a little over 2 months since I was diagnosed & I've already had surgery, reconstruction is 1/2 way over, and chemo is in progress. That's a LOT in 2 months, and I am thankful all my doctors have been pro-active and understood my need to be done. The reconstructive surgeon tortured me and put me through so much pain it's not even funny, but I guess in the long run it's ok because I don't have to do those torture fill-ups anymore, and I just have to deal with where I'm at now until chemo is over. I won't share details, that would just be wierd, but it's painful and un-fun everyday. At least I "look" normal in clothes though, I actually fill my clothes out WAY more than I ever did before, and that makes me pretty uncomfortable too. I guess I'll have to get used to that part though ;)

Monday is Chemo #2. Thankfully, my hair is still hanging on, and I haven't had a lot of unwelcome side effects since the nausea and sickness stopped. I realize those other nasty side effects are probably all rapidly coming, but I'm thankful for the "normal" days I've had lately.