Same old, same old

I know I haven't updated in a little while, so here goes. I had the quick surgery to have the port put in on Friday & thankfully that was pretty uneventful. I've been a little sore in the collarbone area since then, but it seems to be getting a little better each day. It sounds so crazy, but every other day seems to be a good day for me. One day I feel almost normal, don't have to take much (if any) pain medication, feel like driving (short distances, get off my back), stay awake past 10:00, and feel like socializing with other people. The very next day, without fail, I am SO tired, unfriendly, and in lots more pain. It's really strange.
I had my first root canal yesterday (which funny enough was on one of my good days) and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had mentally prepared myself for. I've been going to my dentist forever (although not as regularly as I should have since I've been without dental insurance for 3 years now), and he's always so great and understanding. I think he was being extra gentle with me because I'm now "cancer girl" but I'm fine with that extra gentleness when it comes to dental work. I still have to go back for another appointment (which will no doubt be a wonderful day), for 2 more fillings and he's going to pull a baby tooth I still have (yeah, I'm a freak who's 29 with a baby tooth still). He was going to let it stay in as long as it would, but if it breaks or something during chemo it would be really bad to have to pull a tooth during that time.
Chemo officially starts on Oct. 12th & I'm a wreck thinking about it. I know it will be ok, and like the saying goes: "When you're going through hell...keep on going", so that's what I plan to do. I'll just keep going and it'll all be over soon enough.
It's really starting to emotionally get to me that I can't pick up my child, I will admit. I was watching a tv show last night and a mother picked up her child who was about 3 and I just started crying...What if she's too big to hold by the time I'm strong enough to hold her again, how sad will that be?! She can only sit in my lap if she can climb up herself and the whole time my hands are on her back pressing up just in case she bumps me in the wrong place. It's so depressing to me! Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful I don't have a younger child that wouldn't understand the concept of a "boo boo" and that I would have to be so much more hands on for, but it's hard as a Mommy to be limited in the physical love you can give your "baby", no matter how old your baby is.
That's it for now, no more sob stories from me today :)