The road to Foster Care

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it here or not, but I'll tell you all now for those who don't know that The Hubby and I have been thinking and praying about adoption for about 2 years now. We weren't sure where the path would lead or which path to take for that matter, for a long time, but we finally felt a directional shift recently and we jumped in! Here's the whole story, I'll try to keep it brief but that's never been my strong point ;-)
I'm sure you all know I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer back in August of 2009. Long story short, because of that diagnosis the Hubby and I decided to not have any more children because of the risk of recurrence that a pregnancy (and therefore estrogen surge, which would feed cancer in my body) would bring. I vividly remember one Saturday morning almost 2 years ago, we were sitting at a restaurant & I was crying like a freak. I explained to him the decision I had come to & we discussed how it broke my heart that we couldn't have any more children, but I felt like it was the right thing to do for all 3 of us. I cried all day & was mourning the loss of the family we had hoped for.
That evening, he was on the computer and told me he looked up a church we had been talking about visiting, which my sweet friend who cuts my hair invited us to, and said he wanted to visit the next morning. Little One was unsure about it because she was comfortable at the church we already attended, although she didn't have any real friends there, just kids she knew from Sunday mornings. We felt SO comfortable at the new church from the moment we walked in. Little One's teacher happened to be my friend who invited us (who Little One loves!) & a little girl from her preschool (who turned out to be the pastor's daughter) was in her class so she was instantly comfortable!
We sat in the back of the church & listened as the pastor began talking about adoption. They were having adoption sunday that day & were talking about & showing videos of Compassion International children & encouraging families to adopt a Compassion child. Near the end of the hour, the pastor started talking about other forms of adoption and how we, as Christians, are called to take care of the orphans. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
I sat there teary eyed the entire time, wishing I could hug all the children in the video, bring them to my house & feed and clothe them. God was so working on us as we sat there. The last part of the service they showed a video of the pastor and his wife in China, picking up their adopted daughter for the very first time. The same daughter that was in the preschool class making my daughter feel welcome in our new church! I sat there and sobbed, very ugly sobs I'm afraid, watching God bring their family together & knew that we were there for a reason. Later that week the church had an informational meeting about adoption and had a panel of families from the church who had adopted in various ways; international from several countries, domestic newborn adoption & foster care through the state & private agencies. At the time we felt like the most likely path we would take would be domestic adoption. We thought it was unlikely that we could come up with funds to travel to another country multiple times and adopt internationally. Then we decided that we should maybe try an agency that was highly recommended in the area & is one of the largest in the U.S. We went to an orientation with them as well & for about a year just sat on it...praying, talking & waiting for direction. We knew we wanted to adopt, but weren't sure how it was going to happen.
Several months ago, a friend texted me out of the blue and asked if I had plans the next morning. She attends a MOPS (Mother's of preschoolers) meeting at a local church & they were having a guest speaker talk about adoption and she thought I may be interested. I went, not sure what it was going to be about. I sat there and listened to this sweet young woman talk about how she and her husband adopted two gorgeous children from Foster Care and how it has changed all their lives. Instantly I knew God had yet again placed me there for a reason. I contacted Nicole, and started reading her blog (which is awesome by the way...she's a WAY better blog Mommy than me & keeps hers updated multiple times daily!). From there, we began the process of Foster Care through DFCS. We attended an orientation in November & had to wait all the way until February to begin classes. The waiting has been a little tough I'll admit. We felt like we were on the right path & wanted to run down it to the finish line. I know God has an ultimate plan though, and we're trying to be patient! We finished 7 weeks of classes (20 hours) required by the state before you can become a foster home or foster to adopt, depending on which route you take. We also filled out a mountain of paperwork, questions, health screenings, fingerprints, anything you can imagine was required to be given to the state in addition to attending the classes.
We finished classes last week & now all we have left are 2 home visits by a case worker who will make sure our house is prepared (which we have a little work to do on that level, the "baby's room" is currently an office) and we are capable of adding another child to our lives.
We have decided we will be Foster parents for children ages 0-3, meaning any child in our age range can be placed in our home for any amount of time while their parent(s) work on a case plan to get their child(ren) back. This can be a quick or lengthy process, depending on the parent's willingness to comply.
We are hoping this will eventually lead to an adoption, but in the mean time we feel called to love the children whose parents can't love them at the moment for one reason or another. We want to be able to show them love and affection and care for them however long they need us & hopefully their parents will be able to do the same once they are returned. The class taught us that DFCS works with parents for up to a year on a case plan to get their lives straightened out & get their children back. If the parent can't get it together in a year, they assume they aren't making it a priority and the rights are terminated making the child officially adoptable. The foster parents the child lives with at the time have first choice to adopt, and if they don't want to, the case worker then looks for a foster to adopt family to give the child a forever home.
The question we are most asked when we discuss this is definitely "Don't you think it will be hard on your heart when they are taken away?" My answer to that is Of course I do! We know that when a child is placed in our home, no matter how much he or she rocks our world and tests our patience, that we will love them. It will be incredibly hard once we have a bond with them to send them back home not knowing if we'll ever see them again. Still, we feel like we are preparing ourselves for that possible heartache now and are doing what we're supposed to.
We know we will have some mentally, physically & emotionally trying days on this path...maybe a LOT of them, but we also know that God will not call us to do something he hasn't equipped us for.
We feel so blessed to be a part of a body of believers who are so active in adopting and have seen several miraculous adoptions with a few more in the works right now! On that first Sunday there, it was almost like we could feel God wrap his loving arms around us and say "It's ok, I have a plan. Trust in me, I've got this one covered, too!" Out of the suffering and sadness from my illness, treatments & surgeries that our family has experienced we trust that He is crafting a beautiful story that only HE can write!
There were so many steps along our path that could've easily not happened if one tiny thing or another was out of place. There are so many people who felt called to do something that was only a God thing: Invite us to that church, be a friend to our baby girl, have adoption sunday on that day, invite me to a mops meeting, speak about adoption...and on & on. I am so very thankful for you all & I'm so very excited to see where this journey leads!

If you made it through this LONG story, congratulations! I'm almost done...I ask that you please keep us in your prayers. Please pray that God is preparing us for this journey. All 3 of us are excited, but we also know there will be bumps along the way. We need prayer to prepare our hearts and minds so that when those storms come, we can stand like a mighty tree and weather them together. We also are praying that our home visits are scheduled soon. We are waiting on a case worker from our county, which is overrun with children in the foster care system, to contact us and schedule a home visit. Lastly, we ask that you pray for the Lord's will with regards to our forever family. We know He knows the future and we pray that He places the children in our home who are here for a purpose. Either for us, them, or both.
Thank you for your prayers, thoughts & encouragement! We can't wait to share more about this as developments happen! :-)

Beautiful Video

This video is absolutely wonderful! Of course Martina McBride is an amazing singer, but this song is perfect for everyone who has ever lived cancer (specifically breast cancer) or has stood beside a friend or relative while they lived it. I have to say I have a lot of people who "Loved me through it" and I would have struggled so much more the past couple years without the love and support of my family and friends. You guys helped get me through some really, really tough days, weeks & months and I love you so much! I also have met a lot of new friends, my survivor sisters, who continue to be an amazing support to me and I know we're bonded for life. This song says it perfectly. Thank you for loving me through it!

(Pause the music in the box at the bottom of the page & then play the video...It'll be worth it!)

2 Years Down!

I am so happy to be able to share that we recently celebrated a great milestone around here...My 2 year cancer-free anniversary was August 27th! It's a huge day for me & we did the same thing as last year and wrote what we're thankful for on balloons and released them. It is a fun celebration of my life and hopefully Little One remembers these days when she gets older. My #2 balloon to mark the occasion!

My sweet, sweet girl! By the way, she has on pajamas because we were on our way to her school for Movie Night :-)

These 2 faces are my top 2 reasons that I'm thankful to be alive!

My "Thankful Balloon"

My angel wrote on a balloon "I love Mommy" (she sounded it out all by herself :)

On her first one she had the Hubby write "I'm thankful that my Mommy survived cancer"...Yep, then I cried.

This one LOVES a good balloon release, you can't tell can you?!

Thank you Lord that I'm still here!

More Lady Parts Missing...

I believe I mentioned in an earlier post that I was going to have a hysterectomy because of the type of breast cancer I have being fed by estrogen. I decided it would be worth it to me to have all estrogen producing parts (i.e. ovaries) out of my body. The doctor said if I was going to remove those, that I should just get rid of all my "lady parts" and have a total hysterectomy. At this point, I am so consumed with the fear that cancer will return in some obscure organ and I won't know for a very long time that I'm wishing they would just take all the organs I don't "need". I'm joking (kinda) but after much discussing with the Hubby and family we decided it was the right decision for us. So, now I don't have any lady parts. They already took my breasts, why not that stuff too?
Well, my surgery was July 13th, a little over a month ago, and I'm happy to report that I feel 100% back to normal! How cool is it that I've officially been operated on by a robot now, too? The doctor stands in this Wizard of Oz looking booth across the operating room from you and controls the robot while everyone else in the room does their thing and they all watch what the robot does on several big screen tv's all around the room. That is amazing to me! It's also amazing to other women who've had a traditional hysterectomy that I was able to go home the next day, walk around & get back to normal activity rather quickly. I am so thankful for this procedure, otherwise I probably couldn't have been away from work and family life for as long as it would've taken for me to recover. I was driving in 10 days and feeling good rather quickly!
I was told to give it 6 weeks and not return to full activity until that period was up but I'll tell you (ssshhhh don't tell my Doctor) that I'm pretty much doing what I normally would, just at a slightly slower pace.
Anyway, I say all that to tell you I'm doing very well and appreciate all the thoughts and prayers of those of you who knew about it and have been thinking of me through yet another surgery! The doctor told my family after surgery that he removed several cysts from both ovaries and sent them to pathology to be tested just in case. He also said I had some endometriosis that no one knew about and would've definitely caused me problems down the road so it was good to have these things removed. Who knew I was such a MESS inside?! The pathology came back fine, no cancer praise God!!!
Oh, and I have 5 pretty, new scars to add to my road map to no where of a body I've got now. Haha!!

Now, the hot flashes that Tamoxifen brought on were bad and I know I complained...I wish I could go back to those. The actual menopausal (yes, I'm menopausal at 31) hot flashes and night sweats are NO JOKE! I have a fan I pretty much carry around the house with me and point at my face at all times. I'm also about 3 night sweats away from buying a window unit a/c for our bedroom too. Oh yes, we have central a/c but if I could get my bedroom to a comfortable 65 degrees at night I would sleep great :)

Calling all prayer warriors...

The purpose of this post is, like all the others, to give you a glimpse into a piece of our lives. It's deeply personal & something that we have told very few family members and a couple friends, but I think it's time we told more people because we're looking for God's direction. I feel like the more people who love us (or just know us...or don't know us but stumbled across this blog, I'll take whatever!) that are willing to mention us in prayer the better, ya know?!
So, the Hubby and I decided in the last few months that we were not going to have any more children. It was one of our hardest decisions in a long time, but I firmly believe it's the best one for my health.
Here's the reason...skip all this paragraph if you really don't care about the scientific/cancer/health stuff. It won't hurt my feelings, ha! When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I was informed the tumor was ER/PR positive. What that means is that the tumor itself was an Estrogen/Progesterone receptor & was literally being fed by the hormones my body naturally produces. Because it was "grade 3" which means the fastest growing kind & had already spread into my lymph nodes, I have to believe it was feasting on my hormones & that I shouldn't "feed" that ever again! Since I finished chemo, I am now taking an estrogen blocking pill that's an oral form of chemo called Tamoxifen. It is supposed to reduce the chance of cancer returning, but it has it's own downfalls (like all medications do) and I can only take it for 5 years. Every time I saw a doctor and mentioned that I may try to have another child when the nightmare ended they got very concerned & said they didn't know if I should do that. I finally woke up one day & realized they were right. When you're pregnant you have to #1 be off Tamoxifen for a good while first & #2 just know that there is a crazy amount of estrogen in your system and be willing to take that risk with your life. I'm just not willing to do either. The bottom line is there's enough of a chance that this stupid disease will take my life at some point & I'm not willing to make the risk go up drastically and possibly leave my husband with a newborn and a young child.
So, we both decided recently the best decision for our family would be for me to have a hysterectomy and be thankful each and every day that God blessed us with one wonderful child. I literally cried all day, and felt like I was mourning the loss of the child I would never have. That was a Saturday, and on Sunday we visited a new church in the area. They were having a special service about children (we didn't know this before), and showed videos of children in other countries who need sponsorship and also discussed adoption. The pastor and his wife adopted a beautiful little girl from China a few years back & they showed the video of their journey to China and when they met their baby girl for the first time. I was a hot crying mess! We so felt like the Lord sent us there on that day because He had a message for us. Adoption is something we had discussed a little, but after that day we really said "OK God, we're listening!" They had an informational meeting about adoption the next week at the church & we decided to go. It was 4 couples discussing their different adoption experiences and giving a "what you should expect" kind of talk. It definitely made us excited about the process, and gave us a starting point on agencies in the area. We also went to a meeting recently given by the biggest agency in the area and got a little more info from them. As of now, we believe that we will stay in the U.S. to adopt, and we would love the opportunity to have a newborn. Again, unless God leads us in another direction this is what we are hoping for. I believe my Hubby is just worried that if we adopt a child that's not an infant and I don't get the "baby stage" again that I'll want more!
Anyway, I tell you all this to ask for your prayers. We are very excited about where this will lead us, and are praying for God's will, whatever that may be. From what we've been told, it's a pretty lengthy, expensive process for most couples, and some days the paperwork and hoop jumping gets a little much, but we're gearing up to do what we need to.
No matter what, it has just made us that much MORE thankful for our Little One! I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have a child when I got a cancer diagnosis. I try to tell myself that every day when I'm mad at cancer for taking yet another thing away from me. Sometimes it works ;) I know life's not always fair, but I also know that the Lord has something big for us in this whole mess. I've just got to believe He will reveal it in HIS time!
Thanks for reading & most importantly thanks for praying for us through this!!